The Right of Access

I always have special feelings about keys. Under Dictionary.com, one of the meanings of key is "something that affords a means of access" and the example is "the key to happiness". My love towards keys comes from the fact that from them I can have a right to get something or go somewhere that is not for everyone. It is similar to the feeling that you would have when you show your VIP card in a shop or a restaurant, then the receptionist smiles at you and let you it. A feeling of privilege.

A friend of mine has sent me a set of key chains for me and my boyfriend (BF), and somehow the conversation between BF and I comes to whether I should keep the keys of his apartment when I leave.

BF made a good point by sayin that the landlady probably won't be happy about a guest who took away a set of keys of the apartment, which allows me to have access to the apartment building. I personally think this is a reasonable argument, but not a strong one. My counter-argument is that I would be half way across the globe and I would say it is a bit over-sensitive if she thinks I am going to just walk into the building one day and make some damages. Plus, even if I am not taking the keys, BF may give it to somebody else for reasons such as to have a spare key in the case of losing keys, there is still a chance of the place being broken into at some point.

I actually want the keys for solely emotional purposes. For me, the set of keys is full of the memories that BF and I have in this apartment. They are the keys that lead me to the place where I have experienced so much love. I want to hold onto something that can symbolize the time when BF wants me to treat this place as my home and allow me to share his private world. On the other hand, the fact that BF gives me the keys doesn't mean that I am going to just come and go as I like, but it implies trust and that I am always welcome to come back. It is the kind of right that I want to have but I would never use.

Anyways, I guess I am just not ready to leave ...