The M&M Incident

The M&M incident (which is the short form for "Movie & Me Incident") happened a couple nights ago, when my boyfriend (BF) and I were having a home-made candle-lit dinner. We were enjoying ourselves and talking about a movie BF has been looking forward to. The talk started to go to how we should prepare for this movie viewing. BF then started his declaration towards his love for movies:

"Whenever I watched a movie that I have been looking forward to, I become some sort of a dictator and I just can't tolerate any sort of distraction. I would put all my attention to just the movie. I would order a pizza and have drinks ready, so that I don't have to move much during the movie. I would also turn off my cell and Blackberry, so that I won't be disturbed while I am enjoying the movie. This movie that I am going to watch is super violent. Do you want to watch it with me? Or should I watch it alone? [I suggested that I would try to watch the movie with him. If I can't take it, I will just leave the couch and read a book.] Oh no! I won't let you do that! You either sit through the movie or you don't try at all!"

Here comes my response: I wish you treat a date exactly like the way you treat a long-waited movie! It totally makes sense if the passage above is amended to this:

"Whenever I have a date that I have been looking forward to, I become some sort of a dictator and I just can't tolerate any sort of distraction. I would put all my attention to just that date. I would reserve a table and have flowers ready, so that I won't have to plan much during the date. I would also turn off my cell phone and Blackberry, so that I won't be disturbed while I am enjoying the date."

BF's immediate response is guilt (and the funny thing is that just a while before that he checked his phone during dinner for an SMS). The point that I am trying to demonstrate is not how sorry BF should feel, or whether I am being overly demanding. I didn't intend to make him feel bad. It is just something that pops out of my mind. I have to clarify that I understand a certain degree of interruption in an informal date.

The point is more to the fact that when people start spending their lives together or when their relationship becomes long enough, romance is no longer a delicacy and you no longer need to have continuous special dates to feel loved. Romance becomes something that surrounds you all the time. It is no longer something you deliberately seek, build or give. It simply flows automatically. When it is the beginneing of a relationship, people tend to bring out all sorts of romantic ideas, and it is always like the dessert of a meal that it's small in quantity but brings out a high intentsity of emotion. It makes you feel important and admired. However, as time goes on, romance becomes all courses of a meal instead of just the dessert, and with a lower intensity of emotion triggering. The sweet thing os a relationship turns from getting flowers and having a romantic dinner at a nice restaurant downtown to giving your partner a kiss when he steps out of the door to go to work and cuddling on the couch while watching TV and eating chips. Some people like living in the dessert stage, but I guess I would go for the whole meal!