Thursday, August 5, 2010

I Want Nobody, Nobody, but You!

There was once a dialogue between my boyfriend (BF) and I:


Being in a relationship is the easiest reason for me to resist the frequent temptation of which I see an attractive woman walking down the street and my desire says to me that I would like to have sex with her. If I am not in a relationshp, I would go down the list of available reasons such as I am not good looking or successful enough, which would probably make me feel not as nice as using the "loyal boyfriend" one.


As a girl, I would say most girls want to have admirers all the time. It doesn't matter whether she is in a relationship or not. They probably won't want admirers who are stalkers or people as crazy as that, but they definitely would love it if people start sending flowers annoymously. However, when girls are not getting any admirers, the most convenient reason to explain this would be that they are in a relationship instead of being not attractive or charming enough. Some girls, if they are not in a relationship, they would even go so far as to say they are mingling too closely with some guys which makes potential dates think that they are not available.

See the similarity? It seems like both men and women have a tendency to enjoy the stimulation from someone who is not their official partner. This seems nothing real, but the interesting thing is how similar the way of thinking works between men and women as they try to resist the temptation. Yes! You can view the desire triggered as the basic foundation for cheating, but then such attraction can also be like beautiful shoes for girls or the newest electronics for guys in a store that you saw and stopped yourself from getting them out of pure self-discipline. Whether such tendency would lead to cheating is a complete different matter. Most of the times, when a man or a woman keeps the "being in a relationship" in their available reasons list, it is less likely for them to cheat simply because they treat themselves as unavailable initially instead of "it's complicated" kind of status. Though it might sound lame, I think it really is a matter of choice at the end as to cheat or not. There are so many ways to handle the excitement of meeting someone new, you can cheat on your partner, you can break up with your partner and go for the new one completely clean, you can simply ignore this new person you met or you can turn this temptation into a friend (while some have the intention to take it as a spare potential relationship). Most of the times I can't understand people who just cheat consistently, as if it is not a big deal. However, since I said before that it is their own choice, I guess I can only disagree but respect. What would your choice be?

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