Friday, August 27, 2010

My Darling is a Foreigner

I am currently in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend (BF) is a foreigner. We were brought up in a totally different cultural environment; the only similarity between us is that we are both open to our differences because of our love.

Throughout the summer, I have been through a cultural education program organized by BF. I have watched movies that I wasn't interested in but are his favorites. I have experienced more of who BF actually is and why he thinks in a particular way. Out of all the stuff he has shown me, I wouldn't say I like all of them, but there are really some that are very fascinating an which I have never thought I would love. Other than understanding BF better, I guess such have always benefited me as I now at least know more about what I like and what I don't like among the stuff which I didn't even want to expose myself to.

On the other hand, while BF was visiting my home town, I have exposed him to things that are very different from what he is used to. Because we are basically at the opposite end of the world, we have countless things to introduce to one another about our own culture. There can be big things as what a particular holiday means, or small things such as the traditional sncks of the country. It can sometimes be a challenge of how open-minded we are, but most of the times, it's more about excitement of knowing new things than anything.

However, also because of our cultural difference and the fact that most of the times we are away from each other, my parents are never very optimistic with our relationship. They have a bitof bias about some particular races which is not easy to get rid of. Sometimes, they even go so far as saying I should keep my options open and just enjoy my moments as a young woman. Well ... I do feel pressure from these comments, because there are worries and uncertainies about our future already; what I want to do is just focusing on what I treasure and get the best out of it. On the other hand, I kind of want to prove that I have found that right guy who deserves all my love though we are apart and very different. I don't know whether this is the right mentality, but I do want to prove my parents wrong. I know I love BF an I know he has all the wonderful qualities that my parents may not see.

I am pretty sure I don't have the concept that I am in love with a foreigner in my conscious or even subconscious thinking. I am never very aware that our skin colour and facial features carries the characteristics of different race and that our mother tongue is so different. I remember there are more than once that I looked at him and spoke my mother tongue, and I would repeat that a couple times thinking he can understand until he asked me with a puzzled look whether I was speaking in my mother tongue. I guess this might be something interesting about love, that it helps you to forget the differences that are not so important and that we just focus on making our partner the luckiest person in the whole world.

If you ask me, I don't think loving a foreigner is anything special. We are all human beings anyways. It's just that we may look a bit more different from each other, and there may be creative compromises that we would have to work on. At the end, which couple is totally the same, right?

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