Wednesday, September 1, 2010

From "Fly me to the Moon" To "Telephone"

When I was visiting my boyfriend (BF), I used his cell phone as my personal cell while he used his blackberry. Hie cell phone has Fly me to the Moon as the ringtone. When I came back to my hometown, I turned my cell on again after 3 months and my ringtone switched back to Telephone.

This change has symbolizes a couple other changes in my life which are significant and interesting to think about.

The first change comes from the frequency of the ringing of the phone. There were not a lot of calls when I was using BF's cell, but it goes to zero calls when I first came back. That was actually what I wanted. I deliberately avoid telling people I am back as I don't want people to all come to me saying welcome back and have get together all planned out. I also don't want to listen to the caring words from people around me asking me whether BF or I were sad about the separation. I appreciate the fact that people care and may even worry about me, but for me it's more like stabbing at an existing wound. The fact is that I am sad about the separation and it will always be the case, the only difference is how easily the emotion can be triggred by external factors. Therefore, it is actually nicer not to have anyone asking about it, let the event fades in other people's eyes and life would go on.

The second change is not seeing my own picture as the wallpaper anymore. This is actually a very sweet thing to think about. My BF uses my photo as the wallpaper of his cell all the time while I tend to use our photos togehter. I like opening his cell and see myself in there. It s like opening his heartasking the question who your lover is and the picture just shows up. I enjoy how much he genuinely wants my picture to be there. Ok, I have to admit that the first time it was me who put my picture on his cell, but when he has his blackberry for the first day, he came to me, took a pictureand set it as the wallpaper. I feel so loved by such a sweet act.

The third change is no caller would ask for anyone else but me. Since I was a 3-month temporary visitor, most of the times people called BF's cell to find BF, but ended up hearing a girly voice saying "Ibie's speaking". Though it actually causes inconvenience for th caller, I actually enjoyed that a lot. Whenever the caled responded with a sign of knowing who I am, I know BF has been teling them about me and that he has been talking about me as a part of his life. By telling BF who called, I also feel a bit more involved in his life and I know more about who surrounds his daily life most of the times (the fact that I haven't received a call from a sexy girl's voice is definitely something I am happy about).

I am not sure I want to have Fly Me to the Moon as my ring tone again, but I am pretty sure I want to listen to that ring tone in proximity again.

Fly me to the moon

Let me sing among those stars

Let me see what spring is like

On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my hear with song

Let me sing for ever more

You are all long for

All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love you

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