How many times have you heard of a friend breaking up with his or her partner because they have discovered something suspicious on their partner's communication devices? "I saw a picture of an ex on his cell phone!" "That girl flirts in the messages!" I actually wonder how many relationships have been ruined under such circumstances, not necessarily breaking up; it can be a big fight which then is mentioned a million times whenever anything lights up any sort of fury.
Maybe I should ask in a more personal way: have you ever discovered anything that makes you jealous from the cell phone of your partner? I guess photos always have a bigger impact than messages, at least for me. There were times that I have discovered photos of ex-girlfriends from phones of my lovers. They just gives a sense of jealousy that I have never expected. Photos prove a moment of presence of the phone owner and the person in the picture. Imagination usually then leads you to how they spent their time together, how much they loved each other at that time and it can lead you really far if rationality doesn't come in and interrupt. The worst part is that as soon as rationality comes in, you would start thinking that you can handle your own emotion, and start to dig in further until jealousy become the dominate emotion again. I sometimes blame the inborn curiosity of human beings that causes this to happen.
A past relationship of mine was substantially ruined by me discovering pictures of a girl lying in my ex-boyfriend's bed in bandages as a rehearsal of a first-aid exam. If pictures were not taken, I guess I would have never known that such a moment has happened ever. I don't know whether anything further has happened on that particular bed and I don't care about that anymore since the relationship has ended anyways. But I wonder any kind of misunderstanding can happen when traces of a past relationship or anything that possibly crosses a certain bottom line is being recorded on a phone. Maybe people should start picking up the habit of cleaning your phone by finding a more out-of-sight place to store traces of past relationship. As someone's partner, I guess it is important that you have to accept the past of your partner as such past makes him the person you love right now. He has past relationships and you knew it at the very start. The fact of that matter is that he probably loved those girls as much as he loves you now. This might sound too passive, but the only thing you can do is to try and understand that he might not be as careful as you are in keeping things out of your sight as well as out of your mind.
At the end, if you love this person, and you can strongly feel that he loves you back, what is the point of bring up an argument that has nothing to do with the current relationship that you guys are sharing?
very well put jasmine. u should become a love guru
ReplyDeletego jasmine! we love u!
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